But it's not fair!!!

"But it's not fair!" Those are words you would expect to hear from a tantrum throwing toddler, but aren't we entitled to have these moments as adults? Lately, many of my brothers and sisters have been enduring pain that God has allowed along their life's path, and that doesn't seem fair. You could expect a family who has lost their wife/mother last week to a long battle with cancer to be allowed to question God, or you may understand hearing a negative word come from the three friends of mine who have lost their babies in the past few months. I don't know if I would be as strong as they have been when faced with the same challenges. I'd hope that I could be a light for Him during trials where the world is watching. It also makes me wonder, "How can people living without Jesus make it through this life...because it is really hard. Where is their hope?"

What have I heard instead of it not being fair from these believers? (I hope my quoting them is alright):

"I am so sad, so very disappointed..and yet I know God knows best and I have not had one second of doubt about His love for me. I am so, so, so thankful for that."

"Losing _____ has given me a new deeper appreciation of what my heavenly Father sacrificed for the miracle of my changed life, granting forgiveness and making me his own."

Wow, what great words from those who have lost so much and are clinging to our Father. What do you cling to in times like these, or what will you cling to when they arise?

1. My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus' name.
Refrain:
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is sinking sand.

2. When Darkness veils his lovely face,
I rest on his unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
my anchor holds within the veil.
(Refrain)

3. His oath, his covenant, his blood
supports me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
he then is all my hope and stay.
(Refrain)

4. When he shall come with trumpet sound,
O may I then in him be found!
Dressed in his righteousness alone,
faultless to stand before the throne!
(Refrain)

You don't fool me...

Are we really fooling anyone? People say that they don't judge others, but we all are guilty. Even if you are saying to yourself, right now, that you don't...you do! We outright judge others or do it subconsciously. When one harbors strong opinions and convictions about politics, education, birth plans, economic status, lifestyles, religion, etc...it is a slippery slope leading to the judgement of others.
Does a doctorate degree change the quality of a person's heart? Does an epidural numb the soul? Would being anything other than a conservative republican make you drop a few IQ points?
Aren't judgements a sign of insecurity anyway? What you really should be judging is your reaction to opposing ideals, and perhaps exercising self control when faced with them.

Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled...

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me." John 14:1

This is a concept that is easier said than done (for me, that is). I am a self-proclaimed "worrier". Yes, I believe in an Almighty Father who is in charge of my life and the things/people in it; and, yes, I know that I should be "anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6), but I can't stop these moments that jump up to remind me that I am truly not in control.
I can't help but get the lump in my throat when I see my oldest son develop a splitting headache that causes him to throw up, and my mind automatically jumps to the most devastating thing I can muster up. I can not stop my mind from wandering to a wretched place when I can't get a hold of my husband (who drives a commercial truck for a living) on his cell phone after a few tries. My heart skips a beat when the thermometer registers past 101.0 degrees, or I am awakened by a little voice in the night that tells me that something isn't right.
One would think that if we have true faith in God that all cares are easily cast upon him. Our burdens lifted and resting on the shoulders of our living God. No, mine don't. That is my struggle; that, bluntly, is my sin. The lack of control drives me to the feet of Jesus begging for permission that he'd spare my family from such turmoil.
Well, folks, the truth is that it doesn't always work that way. God wasn't put here for me to use like a magic genie that would grant every wish at my command or amen, but I am here for his use. My family is here to be used in any way that he sees fit. That concept makes me nervous. I have seen other Christians suffer in ways that they didn't "deserve" because they were "good" people, and I have seen others deny our Lord and live a pretty cushy life.
Where is the balance? Where is the justice? The justice, my friends, is not on this earth. It is in heaven with the King. No crowns of glory on this earth will make it there; they will pass away. But, those trials and faith filled moments that God hands us as our challenge and voice to those around us will last. Those moments will be our treasure in heaven.
All of this, I know. Yet, it doesn't stop my heart from dwelling on the "what ifs" in life. The blessings I hold so dear on this earth are not mine, but they are his. My worry is a work in progress, but I don't see the end of it...yet. Prayerfully, one day something will click, and I'll be onto the next part of my character that I need to work on.