Saturday, July 12, 2008

Trying to Breathe

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart...."
I have heard, read, and memorized this verse so many times throughout the years, and it is one that I struggle with so much. Sometimes, anxiety rushes over me, and I feel disappointed in myself that I have let it invade my mind, again. Other people try to remind me to cling to this verse, but that makes me feel worse knowing that I have these words from God and I still struggle. It isn't like I don't want to "let go and let God." It is that I pray and rely, but emotions still linger within my heart.

Is that wrong? Can someone, totally, give up a burden mind, body and soul? To feel absolutely no anxiety at all? Wow....maybe I am not that spiritually advanced....

Whatever the case, I am waiting on results from the amnio. The doctor may call tomorrow with initial results about two "defects." You already know that I am struggling, but I don't want to admit it. Consider this me being transparent and confessing before God and everyone else.....

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