Friday, April 1, 2011

Anxiety...

We've all had fear wave over us from time to time (the honesty starts here, people). However, I know that this is something that I struggle with. It started after my grandmother passed away (I still miss her terribly) from a battle with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (gulp, very scary word right there). I heard of the pain and sorrow that she carried, and it left me scarred (heavy stuff, I know).


Fast forward life a bit, my husband was diagnosed with Stage II melanoma (fine now, and has a very handsome scar), and two years ago I was thrown on a roller coaster of Post Partum Preeclampsia. I was too be celebrating the arrival of my healthy son's birth, but instead, I was in the hospital fighting for my life. I'm still using medication to this day because of it (yea, blood pressure meds).


Anywho, with all of this baggage I now tend to fly off of the handle when faced with health abnormalities (I mean, we are the picture of the abnormal...Webster called and wants our family photo next to the definition). I do my best to trust in the Lord (the verse is even on the wall in my bathroom...love vinyl lettering). I still struggle. That's why I just ask for prayer when craziness is thrown my way. I don't feel like I'm strong enough to keep it together under pressure. That's how everyone knows when I'm at the doctor (for yet another test or procedure...see above abnormality magnet comment)


...My latest affliction: armpits. They (my left more than my right) hurt (sore, uncomfortable, ache...no lumps, no bumps, no rash...TMI?) and I'll be asking my doctor about it soon (because I can't just ignore it...).


Here's a request cool cucumbers, give us scardy cats a break, will ya? I am so jealous of your types that breeze by life without as much as a cold to trip you up, and the fact that you can pass off a pain in your side (that's been nagging for months) and not think about it. I wasn't made that way (the Lord knows how he made me...c-r-a-z-y). Just thank God that you don't have my useless storage of medical information (I totally missed my calling as Dr. House), and get a good night's sleep for me!

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