He's Two

Time Flies & Years Pass but he'll always be my Little Guy

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

This is how I like it...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

Who am I kidding? The tropical climate that we live in doesn't allow room for seasons. The only real way that we know what time of year it is, are the Christmas lights that are covering every immobile objects in people's yards.

One may think that I'm complaining, but think otherwise. Last year, we got about four solid weeks of really cold weather (at least for us). It wasn't pretty. I ran out of warm clothes for me & the kids...and I turned into kind of a wimp.

No, I'd much rather vacation somewhere cold, icy and snow laden and come back to my slightly chilled home state. So now I have a new dream, of sorts. One day, I hope to build a cabin up north a bit and vacation there when the leaves change and snow falls; we'll keep a home here and get the best of both worlds...who's with me?

We're getting ready for the holidays...the problem...we don't know where we'll be living. We have no idea if our house will be sold, and this makes it hard for me to decorate & get into the spirit of Christmas...This is where I write about how the important thing is, is that we're all together for the holidays...YES, it is very true...we are more than BLESSED to be together, no matter where we're laying our heads or opening presents...

Rambles and Rants

Ups, downs, sideways and every which way...that's what my emotions are doing lately. Little Ezra Matthews (http://thematthewsstory.com) passed away this morning. He was two years old. My heart aches for his parents. I sob and wrestle with "why".
I believe in Jesus. I believe in praying, and I know the fundamentals of having faith and to pray. I know that God doesn't always answer how we'd like him to, but I just really wanted him to heal this little boy. When I watched a video of Ezra asking Jesus to "please, heal my cancer" I crossed the line of throwing myself into praying for this boy. I desperately wanted Jesus to hear Ezra's plea and to heal his cancer.
The answer was "no." HOW? I just can't wrap my mind around this. Within the last few months I've seen two children taken from their earthly family to be with Christ. I understand that they are MUCH better off there, and that they are finally healed...but I so selfishly wanted them to be healed...celebrate a miracle & have no more tears shed over such a horrible illness.
My heart is so heavy, and I turn to God...During times like these, I know that it's ok to be honest with God...It isn't like I'm going to surprise him with anything I say. I poured my anger, sadness and pleas into my prayers tonight. I just have to hold on to my faith that he hears, understands and forgives me.....

Tonight, We Dance

We have a little tradition in our family. Well, it's more like outbursts of dance parties, and tonight we had one. Mommy or Daddy turn up some tunes & everyone lets loose with their best moves. Tonight was even more free & fantastic. We danced knowing that our little big guy is "tumor free." I danced thanking God for these miracles. I watched my son dance & thanked God for this outcome. I watched my daughter dance and thought about precious Ava Hunter who went to be the Lord several weeks ago...she would have turned six years old today & I thanked God for my little girl being here, this side of heaven for me to love on. I saw my youngest smile and dance with no inhibitions about anything & I saw myself like that, if only for a few precious moments tonight...I can dance...

Hold Me

We all know that troubles rear their ugly head in life, and through it all we are to count it all joy if we follow Christ and understand his teaching. We're not supposed to be anxious about anything but to pray about everything. Yet, when these rough times do present themselves along my way, I struggle with my response & the response of others around me. Am I not allowed emotion? If it is permitted, which one is correct? I get angry with myself for being scared, anxious or tearing for feeling that they contradict my beliefs that Christ is indeed in control. Therefore, I get fearful that I am handling this wrongly each time it comes around.

With this in mind, I thought about Christ and his emotions while he was on the earth. Did he cry; did he get angry? The answer is an easy, yes. He cried for Lazarus, and he showed anger in the temple and cursed the fig tree. Am I comparing my ever changing emotions to those of Christ's holy and justified ones? Perhaps, I am a little. Clearly, I know that his emotions came from the most holy places in his heart, but this makes me feel better about how I am handling what my heart (sinful and broken, yet healed by his salvation) feels.

I can be angry or sad (or even both) as long as I don't allow it to consume my heart and mind, clouding my focus on Christ. Even through the tears I want my eyes and heart to focus on him. I think of my children who fall and get hurt. They're crying, hurt, angry and sometimes embarrassed when their delight takes a sudden turn to the unexpected pain, but I scoop them up in my arms. All the while they're sobbing, I'm holding them, just as he is holding me. I don't get angry or judge them for their crying. I don't question the severity of their pain. I just hold them, and I believe that is what Christ does for us. He holds us.

Therefore, cry and be angry when things get overwhelming if that is what your heart is feeling. Yet, run quickly into the arms of your Father who is waiting for you with arms wide open for his child. He'll hold you until the pain passes.

Stop Your Whining

I am grateful for my family. Even though we seem to have our bumps in the road with health, they don't compare to so many others who are hurting for their children and begging God to heal them...through Ava's Daddy's blog (www.joshuajoelhunter.blogspot.com) I "met" this family ( http://thematthewsstory.com) and have been praying for them. Their story is nothing short of amazing...please, pray for them