I Need More Prayer...My Storm Continues

Yes, personal struggles sometime make you vulnerable and expose emotion and thoughts when you try your best to suppress them (ask our waitress tonight at the Outback). Lately, I find myself tearing up every time I try to talk about anything to do with a baby. I yearn for the days past when my biggest concern was whether it is a boy or a girl. But my reality is that won't be the case for at least another 3 weeks or perhaps during the duration of this pregnancy. I need prayer for the upcoming appointment and results. I am being selfish and just asking for a completely healthy baby.

Some tell me not to worry or stress over it all, but I can't do that. I have found that this could seriously be the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my lifetime. I've had family members terminally ill; my husband had cancer, and my life has been sprinkled with mundane drama that we all experience. Yet, when it comes to your child....and it is a serious life and death matter....everything is thrown into the air and you are left trying to gather it all up again, put things back into place, but you know that nothing can or will ever be the same again. Even if everything turns out to be fine, I will carry this pain and these thoughts with me throughout my life and reflect on them from time to time. Yes, I will be praising God for the outcome (if all does prove to be fine), but I know that my outlook and view point is forever changed.

That's alright, though. That is how we grow and mature in this life...through trials. Thank you, Lord, for trials. Hard to say it, even harder to mean it. I ask you, please, to continue to pray for our family, for me (peace and joy), for this baby (health), and for the upcoming appointment(s) (for fast test results...and good test results).....There isn't enough words for the thanks I have for those who are carrying this burden with me and are praying for us....