He's Two

Time Flies & Years Pass but he'll always be my Little Guy

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

This is how I like it...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

Who am I kidding? The tropical climate that we live in doesn't allow room for seasons. The only real way that we know what time of year it is, are the Christmas lights that are covering every immobile objects in people's yards.

One may think that I'm complaining, but think otherwise. Last year, we got about four solid weeks of really cold weather (at least for us). It wasn't pretty. I ran out of warm clothes for me & the kids...and I turned into kind of a wimp.

No, I'd much rather vacation somewhere cold, icy and snow laden and come back to my slightly chilled home state. So now I have a new dream, of sorts. One day, I hope to build a cabin up north a bit and vacation there when the leaves change and snow falls; we'll keep a home here and get the best of both worlds...who's with me?

We're getting ready for the holidays...the problem...we don't know where we'll be living. We have no idea if our house will be sold, and this makes it hard for me to decorate & get into the spirit of Christmas...This is where I write about how the important thing is, is that we're all together for the holidays...YES, it is very true...we are more than BLESSED to be together, no matter where we're laying our heads or opening presents...

Rambles and Rants

Ups, downs, sideways and every which way...that's what my emotions are doing lately. Little Ezra Matthews (http://thematthewsstory.com) passed away this morning. He was two years old. My heart aches for his parents. I sob and wrestle with "why".
I believe in Jesus. I believe in praying, and I know the fundamentals of having faith and to pray. I know that God doesn't always answer how we'd like him to, but I just really wanted him to heal this little boy. When I watched a video of Ezra asking Jesus to "please, heal my cancer" I crossed the line of throwing myself into praying for this boy. I desperately wanted Jesus to hear Ezra's plea and to heal his cancer.
The answer was "no." HOW? I just can't wrap my mind around this. Within the last few months I've seen two children taken from their earthly family to be with Christ. I understand that they are MUCH better off there, and that they are finally healed...but I so selfishly wanted them to be healed...celebrate a miracle & have no more tears shed over such a horrible illness.
My heart is so heavy, and I turn to God...During times like these, I know that it's ok to be honest with God...It isn't like I'm going to surprise him with anything I say. I poured my anger, sadness and pleas into my prayers tonight. I just have to hold on to my faith that he hears, understands and forgives me.....

Tonight, We Dance

We have a little tradition in our family. Well, it's more like outbursts of dance parties, and tonight we had one. Mommy or Daddy turn up some tunes & everyone lets loose with their best moves. Tonight was even more free & fantastic. We danced knowing that our little big guy is "tumor free." I danced thanking God for these miracles. I watched my son dance & thanked God for this outcome. I watched my daughter dance and thought about precious Ava Hunter who went to be the Lord several weeks ago...she would have turned six years old today & I thanked God for my little girl being here, this side of heaven for me to love on. I saw my youngest smile and dance with no inhibitions about anything & I saw myself like that, if only for a few precious moments tonight...I can dance...

Hold Me

We all know that troubles rear their ugly head in life, and through it all we are to count it all joy if we follow Christ and understand his teaching. We're not supposed to be anxious about anything but to pray about everything. Yet, when these rough times do present themselves along my way, I struggle with my response & the response of others around me. Am I not allowed emotion? If it is permitted, which one is correct? I get angry with myself for being scared, anxious or tearing for feeling that they contradict my beliefs that Christ is indeed in control. Therefore, I get fearful that I am handling this wrongly each time it comes around.

With this in mind, I thought about Christ and his emotions while he was on the earth. Did he cry; did he get angry? The answer is an easy, yes. He cried for Lazarus, and he showed anger in the temple and cursed the fig tree. Am I comparing my ever changing emotions to those of Christ's holy and justified ones? Perhaps, I am a little. Clearly, I know that his emotions came from the most holy places in his heart, but this makes me feel better about how I am handling what my heart (sinful and broken, yet healed by his salvation) feels.

I can be angry or sad (or even both) as long as I don't allow it to consume my heart and mind, clouding my focus on Christ. Even through the tears I want my eyes and heart to focus on him. I think of my children who fall and get hurt. They're crying, hurt, angry and sometimes embarrassed when their delight takes a sudden turn to the unexpected pain, but I scoop them up in my arms. All the while they're sobbing, I'm holding them, just as he is holding me. I don't get angry or judge them for their crying. I don't question the severity of their pain. I just hold them, and I believe that is what Christ does for us. He holds us.

Therefore, cry and be angry when things get overwhelming if that is what your heart is feeling. Yet, run quickly into the arms of your Father who is waiting for you with arms wide open for his child. He'll hold you until the pain passes.

Stop Your Whining

I am grateful for my family. Even though we seem to have our bumps in the road with health, they don't compare to so many others who are hurting for their children and begging God to heal them...through Ava's Daddy's blog (www.joshuajoelhunter.blogspot.com) I "met" this family ( http://thematthewsstory.com) and have been praying for them. Their story is nothing short of amazing...please, pray for them

What's Going On

Since my last blog:

My mother in law had open heart surgery & is doing well...

We're still waiting to see an endocrinologist for my son's condition...

I have been maintaining my weight loss & now that I've been cleared by my doctors (clear CT heart scan) I'm back at the gym to lose the last 30 lbs before our next decision...

Our house has had two offers put in on it...

We don't know when or where we'd be moving...

Therefore, I can't seem to organize my thoughts well enough to complete an entertaining blog. So this is what you get...boring, I know...Here's a picture that may end this on a good note, though!

Dare for a Swim?

I have an analogy that roams around in my mind. I see it like this:


Whenever I feel like I am stepping out into the great big ocean of God's work and blessing, Satan's sharks come swarming in. I dip a toe in, and one or two show up. Will I be brave enough to dive in even though the seeming danger is looming around me?



You see, I want to step out, and every time that we do as a family, something gets in our way to shake our foundation. The latest quake, our son's health. That's a big deal. We've dealt with our share of health issues as a mom and dad...but not our kids. These are really big sharks, here.



That makes me think, What is Satan trying to stop? What great things are in store if I do step out in faith? There must be something big in this ocean, a huge treasure trove just waiting to be discovered. Wish us luck! No wait, pray for us!

Not so Fast...

OK, so yesterday we got great news that my son's MRI came back normal with no problems...GREAT! Not so fast....today we got the report back from his bloodwork. Something isn't right with his thyroid levels. So, back to the lab we went & now we are waiting on those results.
I'm terrified and feel like crying, but I want to lean on the Lord. I want to be strong for him, and not cause any more worry that he has to endure. Therefore, this blog is my outlet. I will cry when all are asleep & will hide out in another room if need be.
As I wait for these results, please, pray if you read this...I need it...even if this turns out to be nothing, I need it now for the unknown...and lets face it...I'm not that strong....

Small Update

Well, two out of the three tests have been completed. By 3:00 this afternoon all three tests will be over with. Here comes the really hard part...waiting. I learned from the doctor's office this morning that they don't call UNLESS there is an abnormal result. Otherwise, you get a letter in the mail. Great, that means that every time my phone rings in a twelve hour period for about a week, I'll feel absolutely sick to my stomach.
Do me a favor, don't call...text.

Heading in for tests tomorrow...

I'm taking my son in tomorrow for the MRI and bloodwork portion of testing. Clearly, I am anxious about this, but I am doing my best to not show that during the day. As a result, my anxiety pours out other places. Things seem to bother me more; I see that I'm hyper sensitive to words and actions, and all at the same time I feel like I am pushing people away without meaning to....or maybe they're pushing me away?

Update on My Guy...

My husband and I took my son to the neurologist this afternoon. I was hoping for a "no big deal" speech (although I knew better in my heart), and she suggested further testing. This Saturday, we'll be venturing to our local hospital for an MRI & bloodwork, and at the beginning of next week he'll have an EEG performed in her office.
I'm trying to suck it up and be strong for him (and his sake), but it can be a bit rough at times. Keep praying & thanks!

All Choked Up...

So, every time I think about this guy, I get choked up...I'm still scared and feel uneasy about his headaches (he's still having them) & I don't really want to blog about it, but I'm still praying about our neurologist appointment this Thursday....Could you pray, too?

Get Out of Funky Town...

What a dangerous thing having a blog is. Why, you may ask? Because, ever since last Thursday I have been in a huge funk. Now, where else can a person vent their internal frustrations that the everyday world can't know about? Her blog of course! Here we go:

My oldest son has headaches. He's had them since he was around three years old (close to four). Anyway, they have now progressed to where they can make him sick to his stomach. Not only does my heart ache for him, but my brain will not stop turning fearing what is in his. (Warning, this may not make sense to a rational person).

Ever since school has started, he gets one of these wretched monsters once every week. The day varies, but they come every week....just once. Once is enough to get me on the crazy train. At a well child visit for my four year old, I mentioned this to his pediatrician. She suggested that we now consult a children's neurologist (Gulp, say what?).

Yes, so ever since that moment, I have been in a funk. I can't sleep well (even though I could just stay in bed). I am worrying over his health. I am fearful of what we'll find out. I'm dreading this visit, but it can't come soon enough. I burst into tears when I'm alone. I check on him a dozen times a night. I hug him longer, tell him I love him all of the time and I miss him when he's away, terribly.

I forget to shower...I honestly forgot to shower...my mind is so full of fear and crappy thoughts that I am neglecting myself. I don't want to bother my friends or family with my fears. Mostly, the subject gets quickly changed or I'm hiding out. I have health issues going on myself, but I don't really care...I have a CT scan myself on Thursday for my heart and how it's functioning, but I don't care...I care about him...

Ya'll I'm scared for my sweet boy. I love him so very much, and I don't want anything to be wrong with him. I pray to God every moment that he'll protect him (and everyone else in our family). Tears are streaming down my face as I type...my emotions are raw and exposed, but no one really reads this anyway, right...so strip them down, right?

Pray for him...please, pray for him. His mama is so scared...

Time Machine

I want a time machine. I want to escape the reality of being an adult for a little while. I wish that I could be a care free kid again that didn't worry and had faith like a child. I would want to play with my children all day long and never get tired or anxious. I'd want to have sleep over parties, watch movies and eat popcorn with them...
Have you ever talked with a child about a bad dream that they had? My daughter woke up last night with a nightmare. She dreamt that her daddy went up a beanstalk and kept growing. That's it. No one was sick; no one died, and no one was trying to harm anyone else. Wouldn't that be awesome if our greatest fears were the same as what you can see in a cartoon?
As I sit here reading over my ramblings, it makes me wonder why I don't carpe diem! Maybe I should start planning a kid day or weekend for our family where we just take on ZERO responsibilities, each junk foods, watch movies, and play all day long until we drop! Hmmm....I smell another blog coming!

Saying Goodbye

This little lovely said goodbye to her family yesterday and hello to Jesus. She was only five, and she has touched more lives than most will in a long lifetime. You can read her daddy's blog under "Worth Reading" links (see Ava's Family).

I have so much to say about this family and little girl, but somehow, I can't bring myself to typing. I'm heartbroken.

I'm privileged to know this family, and I've been praying for them daily during these last ten weeks (yes, only ten weeks). I will continue to pray for them during these hard times. Please, join with me, and so many others....

For Ava:

Hold her close Jesus, for we no longer can

Not too much longer until we meet again

A beautiful smile and laughter to follow

Their absence makes the heart hollow
Dancing with angels no longer in pain

Not too much longer until we meet again

Another log on the fire....

It all started a little over a week ago. I was carrying my youngest into my daughter's preschool for pickup. When I sat down, I noticed a pain in my left side of my chest. (Ouch). To a "normal" person, this pain would have probably been ignored, but not by me. I kept checking my blood pressure and heart rate. The pain subsided. (Great, crisis averted).

However, while everyone rested that night, it all began again & was in different places on my left side (neck, shoulder, back...AHHH!). So, I did what any reasonable person would do (never think reasonably); I googled my symptoms (heart attack, what?!). Great, so now I was having the symptoms of a dire emergency. I tried to sleep it off, but the pain returned and remained.
I headed to see my GP to be safe and proactive (ya, and to ease my inner hypochondriac). He ran an EKG, listened to my heart and gave me the all clear (after telling me a horrid story of his worst heart attack patient who was 31...HUH?!). He did tell me that if my symptoms worsened or I began feeling ill, come back.

I left feeling reassured that I had pulled a muscle or was suffering from acid reflux. I could rest easy (ya, right). At least that is what I thought until I started getting clammy and nauseous the next evening (really? yes, really). Of course the GP office was closed at this point and my husband wasn't home. So, my parents came over & when my husband did make it home we were off to the ER.

They ran another EKG, chest xray, and blood work to check for the worst things (my blood pressure was great, by the way...go figure). My pains were still happening, and I was pretty scared at this point. They let me know that all was fine, but I needed to get a stress test done as soon as possible (great...).

After many phone calls (and annoying people) later, I had an appointment for a stress echocardiogram test (fancy phrase, I know). Yesterday, I found the building and was instantly horrified by the requirements. What is worse than running on a treadmill to test your hearts function? How about running in a hospital gown with no shirt or support (yes, that means bra) underneath? (In front of a man my age, nonetheless). Oh, and did I mention that I was wiped down with rubbing alcohol and my skin was sandpapered to attach the electrodes? (Yes, it burned...). I was one "are you ok?" from a total breakdown sob fest on the treadmill. My dignity stripped to nothing, I ran for ten minutes...this is what nightmares are made of, people!
Now I wait. Wednesday I have to head back to this office of torture and find out my results.

Forgive me for not being excited. In the meantime, I am enjoying my family. I see how wonderfully blessed I am to have the family that I do. I am even blessed to go through these trials of blood pressure, potential heart issues and preeclampsia to know how blessed I truly am (this is the craziest statement ever made, I know). If you'd like to pray for these results, I'd really appreciate it. I want to enjoy my family for many years to come!

He's turning seven!

Our family's closing up the month of August with another birthday. My oldest is turning seven! Happy birthday!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Happy Anniversary!!!

Eight amazing years to one amazing person!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Some days...

Some days things just pile on top of you until you break. I had one of those days today. Nothing catastrophic happened, don't panic. I just had a series of events that brought my stress level through the roof...my phrase of the day, "Are you kidding?"
First, I realized that my precious pictures from the theme park we visited yesterday would cost, get this, at very least $15o.00 for 36 photos...YES, that is what I said. That is just on a CD, no prints! If I got prints, those precious photos would cost a whopping $500!!!! Yup, that's not a type-o!

Next, the new recipe that I was making for dinner, didn't finish in the crock pot by dinner time (rolling eyes). Perfect. Good thing that I had homemade soup ready for us in the refrigerator & fixings for toasted cheese bread!

This would have been a perfect, uneventful meal, but my dear, precious daughter decided to have an utter melt down over something that, now, I can't even remember what it was. I know that she's tired from yesterday, but this was just over the top. Unfortunately, for her, there are consequences to every decision you make. Her consequence, no dinner & straight to bed. Sigh...the screaming has just subsided.

Finally, while getting the table set and ready for this impromptu dinner, I noticed a big white stain on my wood table. Really? You see, my dear husband, thought that using an iron on this hard surface would be a great idea, not so much. As a result, I've been searching the Internet for tips to fix this eyesore. The first three remedies have failed.

Yes, a series of events such as these could send me into a tizzy. However, this is life. A life where I am fully blessed & even though these little hiccups come along, I don't want to waste minutes on being angry. I allow myself a few minutes to get upset, breath and solve. Once that is over (even if it doesn't get rectified like my table), I need to move on and get over it. Our memories from our family outings will last when pictures don't. I love my children more than dinner; I love my husband more than a table. Life is just too short.

My week in review...

This week has been full of activity & it isn't over yet! If you've ready my two previous entries, you'll see that my son started school for the first time and my daughter turned four. Needless to say, I had a very emotional week in the beginning.

My son really is enjoying school. He loves hearing stories read to him (Amelia Bedelia and Juney B. Jones this week), and he's enthused that he actually has homework (this excitement is fleeting, I know). He was able to share with his class our fun summer plans, and next week he gets to bring in cupcakes to his new friends for his birthday (Yes, another day of tears ahead for mom).

There is a princess that lives in our house. She woke up on Tuesday and was reminded of that when the radio personality announced that "IVB is a four year old princess today." The entire day she wore a birthday crown and birthday girl button (she called it her metal). Although her princess balloon (that I paid ten dollars for) flew away, it was a good day. Her cake was pink with strawberry ice cream (so so so good), and she's been playing with her birthday presents ever since the paper was torn off.

This weekend we'll be headed to a very famous theme park in our area, and everyone can hardly wait! We decided to skip parties this year with their friends and party with family instead!

Speaking of family, my husband's family is coming back into town very soon! Our schedule is about to get really crazy, but its the good kind of crazy. One that's filled with family and fun. His blessings are abundant & we are thankful!

My Little Princess is Turning Four

I sobbed the entire time I made this (about two days of work). She's growing up so fast...Tuesday she's turning four! Happy Birthday My Little Princess!

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Looking the part

In a few days my oldest will do something that he's never done before, attend public school (gasp). OK, I know what you're thinking, "No big deal," right? Wrong. We are approaching uncharted waters in our home. Both my husband and I have never attended a public school. Wait, before you pass us off as yuppie rich kids, let me remind you that my husband lived overseas where choices were limited, and I attended a school that wasn't in business to make money (translation, it wasn't swanky).

My son is pretty quiet and reserved, so I think. However, I have seen him in his element being loud and pretty entertaining to other students. He's a ladies man, already (whether he wants to be or not...right now, not), and he has been developing his own sense of style. Enter the title of this blog.

This new school requires a uniform, a pretty dull one at that, and that imposes the challenge of standing out in a, "I didn't make a huge effort to" way. Translation, cool shoes and cool belts for the boys. Do you know how hard it is to find a cool belt for a little boy? VERY HARD. Google it and try.

After much consideration, torment and trial I have discovered that Kohl's online was my best option. He will now be sporting two different Tony Hawk belts of his choosing, one with flames (yes, flames as in fire) and one that is monochromatic (Code For: khaki no frills). We already took care of the shoe situation, selected from Shawn White's collection (Translation: Target's answer to Vans).

Yes, as we embark on this journey of a new school year littered with "firsts", my son will hopefully, at very least, look the part of a cool little boy. Lets be honest, though: cool shoes or none, flame belts or plain, uniform or pajamas...my little guy is already one of the three coolest kids I know.

Days Gone By...

It has been about a year and half since I made a promise to myself that I would no longer bother myself with useless TV. Now, what I call "useless" and what others call "useless" may be conflicting. I now watch my fair share of reality TV and mindless comedies. What I call useless is any show that doesn't bring me happiness. Life is too short.

While in the hospital, I never turned on the news or watched prime time murder mysteries; I watched all of the re-run comedy shows that I could squeeze in (Well, in and out of magnesium sulfate unconsciousness). They made me feel better, more secure and happier.

I've found that older shows bring a sense of comfort and take you back to a more simple time. There are no heavy dramas or dark undertones, and if there is conflict it resolves in less than thirty minutes. Call it a diet of sorts. I've cut out drama, thrillers and anything health related. That leaves me with laughs, black and white feel good TV. It's pretty darn fulfilling if you ask me. The comfort in days gone by TV is well worth the latter.

What and Why?

You've heard the phrase, "When it rains, it pours." Well, bring on the rain! If you didn't know already, we're trying to move to a larger home ($$$); we just bought a new computer since our old one died ($$), and now the car is broken, again ($$$).
Just when we thought that we'd be able to get rid of that car payment, the need for a new automobile arises ($$$$). We just need to have two cars that we both are able to drive that fits, everyone (past, present and hopefully future!). As a teenager, the prospect of a new car would send me into a fit of excitement. Today, being the mature lady I am, I think of the money. Well, here's to looking for a new auto that is safe, big, newer and cheap!

Keep Praying For Ava

As you are able to spend your time with your loved ones, spouse, children or other family members and friends, please, remember to lift up this family in prayer. Be thankful for the blessings that surround you...don't take life for granted. http://www.joshuajoelhunter.blogspot.com/

Putting it out there...

Ok, don't tell anyone, but I'm overweight. Shocking, I know! I understand that I have pounds to lose, and I have accepted the challenge head on. For about six weeks now I have been kicking my rear into gear at the gym. I am eating better and more often. Learning to eat more often has actually been a hard lesson. I wasn't consuming enough calories to actually burn fat.
As a result of all of this effort, I have lost eighteen pounds. EIGHTEEN! My doctor told me to lose thirty before thinking of having another baby to help manage my blood pressure and to avoid preeclampsia, again. Well, I am over halfway to that point! As for planning another baby, we go to see ANOTHER doctor in August to get his opinion on the subject. I have seen two other doctors about this subject, and I'm not satisfied with those visits. Call me an overachiever, but I want to do everything in my ability to make sure that I get the best information to make an educated decision. If you think I'm crazy, go back and read the posts from 2008 to see the craziness that we dealt with!
Until that decision is made, it couldn't hurt to drop a few more pounds. Perhaps, one of these days I'll be brave enough to show photos! Gasp!

What I Think About...

When I saw the commercials for this product, I was more than tempted to give it a try. The concept of having your detergent, fabric softener and a dryer sheet all in one seemed like a revolutionary time saver! I was going to wait to give it a try until I finished my bottle of Tide first, but then a sample came in the mail. Tempting, or what? Lastly, at a recent trip to the grocery store, I priced all three items (detergent, fabric softener and the dryer sheets) against the Purex sheets (36 loads). Not only is using Purex cheaper than my usual Tide brand. It was cheaper by $16.00 when I added not having to purchase the dryer sheets or fabric softener!

Now for the test, I have been using the Purex sheets for three loads now. It works well and exactly the same as other products. My only complaint (which really is more like a suggestion) is the scent. It is very subtle. That may be a selling point for some, but I for one enjoy the fresh scent of clean laundry and linens (especially sheets and towels).

Out of a five, I'd give this product a four over all. It cleans well (stains, etc. that my kids have on their clothes that are pretty tough). The fabric softener leaves the clothes soft and cuddly and the dryer sheets prevent the static build up. This product is Mom approved!

Changes and Updates

I feel like I am on a teeter-totter when it comes to our family and its decisions. We have so many things up in the air, and I'd like to catch one! There is one thing that women are famous for. We want and thrive on having security and stability. We want people and things to be reliable. Sure, some may be a bit more "free" than others...but the trait is there.
Where we're living could change suddenly (our home is on the market); I need to find us a place to rent (that fits all of us and that we love). That is our house update, for those who may have been wondering.
My youngest is nineteen months old now. Some may remember what a hard time I had afterwards with post partum preeclampsia. Well, we'd love to have another child, but I am terrified, understandably. I've seen several doctors about the potential of it happening again, and I haven't gotten a clear answer, yet. I have one more appointment coming up to have another consult. There is our baby update.
To adopt a child through the foster care system we have to take a class that lasts ten weeks. We decided to go ahead with them in September (if we're moved and settled by then). This doesn't mean that we have made a final decision about adopting. This just means that we're exploring it further to make a more educated decision. The classes inform and teach people before a home study. There is our adoption update.
I think that pretty much covers the big question marks that are going on within our family. God willing, security and stability will creep back into our lives soon and painlessly. With that said, I'm excited. Change can be great. We have major life decisions on the horizon. These will change our lives and family dynamic. Phew, lots of prayers needed. Now I'll stop writing about it...it's getting a bit overwhelming.

It has been a while

It has been almost a full four months since my last blog! In late March, early April, our computer died, and we have finally replaced it. Yahoo for not having to use my tiny phone's internet to check up on things and loved ones! I can now return e-mails without predictive text or enhancing my risk for arthritis in my fingers! My eyes no longer have to squint to recognize faces in photos; I can cut and paste!
The world is now at my finger tips again, and it feels good.

Something more to do...

OK, if you know me or read this blog before, you know that after I had my son I was rushed back to the hospital with Postpartum Preeclampsia. Because it was an emergency situation, I didn't have a packed bag, my husband was shoeless and it was a pain to collect these things to take the essentials to the hospital. Another family was in a similar situation (http://fb.me/vrGawGDC) & they decided to collect tolietries to distribute to hospitals with NICUs and places for high risk moms. They also had help from local churches. OK, so this is something that I can help do, as well! So can you! Start collecting small tolietry items & I'll be contacting my local hospitals to see how much of a need there is & how I can organize these ideas. I can do something more for these families that are in horrible, scary situations & we all know that a shower or brushing your teeth can be theraputic!

Here we go!

Alright, we knew that the housing market around us stinks, but good grief, it really is pretty awful. Well, what is a family to do? We just need a little more space. We still have a realtor that is contacting us, but now we are leaning towards renting out the house instead. This makes me nervous...this is uncharted waters for me...keep praying!

Adventures in Listing Day 4/5

Well, after running this marathon, we're coming to the end...well, the end before my husband's work schedule returns to normal. We've done so much, and we only have a few things left to do. A realtor is coming to check out the place on Monday & will tell us what he thinks we can get for our home. We're praying for a good number! Once we get everything prettied up & picture perfect, I'll post some. I need to get some flowers & houseplants...and pillows! I love pillows...they make me think of being cozy and in a bed. It's been five days, people...we're tired!

Adventures in Listing: Day2/3

Well, one thirty in the morning is fast approaching and I don't remember what day it is, hardly. I am up to my elbows in paint & my hand are sore from holding a roller...but still we press on. I go in waves of motivation and despair & as of this moment in the emotional swing, I feel as though the tasks are hopeless. Every room has something more to do in it...every bag of trash thrown out duplicates into three or more. I've tossed more clothes than I could have imagined & sent my kids of to my parents to get more accomplished. The problem is, even if I was childless for a month, there would still be more things to be done & the work would seem endless. It does seem endless, by the way...end less...

Here is what we've finished since the last blog post:
1) Moved a lot of furniture to storage (yea, for more space!)
2) Moved the remaining inside to our liking
3) Assembled a new TV stand (all him, not me)
4) My husband, father, and brother in law worked together to frame the floor (whoo hoo!)
5) Cleaned part one of the carport area
6) Painted 2 1/4 rooms (2 coats)
7) Sorted toys, clothes, and endless "stuff" & have parted with at least a dozen yard trash bags full

Things to still get finished:
1) Clean out all closets & get more to storage
2) Remove more trinkets & whatnot's to storage
3) Carport Phase 2
4) Paint Exterior (second coat and trim only)
5) Utility Closet/Laundry Room Clean out & organize
6) Arrange Furniture in bedrooms
7) Clean carpets
8) Clean all the rooms top to bottom & replace light bulbs

OK...time to stop writing & start working!

Adventures in Listing Day1

Well, the end of day one is upon me and I am so glad. Many times today I was ready to throw up my hands in despair (ok, maybe just not tempted). I am still getting overwhelmed thinking about all that we have got to get accomplished by Wednesday evening! Why Wednesday? Well, my husband goes back to the real world of working instead of staying home using vacation days. Oh, and we wanted to call a realtor that day to talk about listing our home (shhh...that part's under wraps...wink wink).
Here is what we got accomplished today:
1) Cleaned & re-organized the kitchen (all the cupboards and drawers, took down all kid art, and used Clorox, Lysol, and Mr. Clean magic eraser everywhere; this also included my throw out 3 1/2 garbage bags worth of just "stuff")
2) Bought new table for the dining room (found on craigslist of $50 dollars, YES!)
3) Moved old table and chairs into storage
4) Bought a new overstuffed chair for living area ($55 off of craigslist, YES!)
5) Cleaned out the Bathroom closet & reorganized the shelves with cute new baskets
6) Cleaned the bathroom & put out the DO NOT USE TOWELS...

Here is what is on our to do list for tomorrow:
1) Sort toys and clothes in the kids room (keep as few toys as possible in the house)
2) Hopefully rent the U-HAUL one day early to move the extra furniture out
3) Sort Clothes from our room & toss more than we keep
4) Pick up paint for the kids room (and maybe ours)

Phew, aren't you tired just reading this! Pictures to follow when we're all finished!

Moving on Up....hopefully!

The U-haul has been rented; the paint color is picked, and my husband is using a few vacation days to be here. What does all of it mean? Well, hopefully it means that we are moving in the right direction to be in a better position to list our home soon. This is a very hard task having three little ones to look after at the same time! When the tasks are finished, I'll be posting some photos to see what you think! Wish me luck!

I can see you!

People of the world, allow me to enlighten you on something...I can see you! Yes, it is true.
1) I can see you when I let you in traffic & you show no gratitude (while I see your fish on your car)....nice representation
2) I can see you cut in line (not so discretely) while you are holding your child's hand...what are you teaching your kids
3) I can see you screaming at your spouse in the parking lot...golden rule
4) I can see you speak God's word, but show no actions to prove it...faith without works
5) I can see you update your status to try to be someone you don't want to be...

Yes world, I can see you, and so can many other people. We are all watching, aren't we? Here is the good news...

1) I can see you show patience on the road and allow me into the traffic lane...& oh yes, I do show gratitude...
2) I can see you selflessly allow me in front of you in line when I have fewer items than you...or the kids are getting restless
3) I can see couples holding hands and encouraging one another...without severe PDA's people
4) I can see you serve others and speak God's word to move others to do so...it is contagious
5) I can see you encourage others through many venues...including facebook!

But it's not fair!!!

"But it's not fair!" Those are words you would expect to hear from a tantrum throwing toddler, but aren't we entitled to have these moments as adults? Lately, many of my brothers and sisters have been enduring pain that God has allowed along their life's path, and that doesn't seem fair. You could expect a family who has lost their wife/mother last week to a long battle with cancer to be allowed to question God, or you may understand hearing a negative word come from the three friends of mine who have lost their babies in the past few months. I don't know if I would be as strong as they have been when faced with the same challenges. I'd hope that I could be a light for Him during trials where the world is watching. It also makes me wonder, "How can people living without Jesus make it through this life...because it is really hard. Where is their hope?"

What have I heard instead of it not being fair from these believers? (I hope my quoting them is alright):

"I am so sad, so very disappointed..and yet I know God knows best and I have not had one second of doubt about His love for me. I am so, so, so thankful for that."

"Losing _____ has given me a new deeper appreciation of what my heavenly Father sacrificed for the miracle of my changed life, granting forgiveness and making me his own."

Wow, what great words from those who have lost so much and are clinging to our Father. What do you cling to in times like these, or what will you cling to when they arise?

1. My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus' name.
Refrain:
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is sinking sand.

2. When Darkness veils his lovely face,
I rest on his unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
my anchor holds within the veil.
(Refrain)

3. His oath, his covenant, his blood
supports me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
he then is all my hope and stay.
(Refrain)

4. When he shall come with trumpet sound,
O may I then in him be found!
Dressed in his righteousness alone,
faultless to stand before the throne!
(Refrain)

You don't fool me...

Are we really fooling anyone? People say that they don't judge others, but we all are guilty. Even if you are saying to yourself, right now, that you don't...you do! We outright judge others or do it subconsciously. When one harbors strong opinions and convictions about politics, education, birth plans, economic status, lifestyles, religion, etc...it is a slippery slope leading to the judgement of others.
Does a doctorate degree change the quality of a person's heart? Does an epidural numb the soul? Would being anything other than a conservative republican make you drop a few IQ points?
Aren't judgements a sign of insecurity anyway? What you really should be judging is your reaction to opposing ideals, and perhaps exercising self control when faced with them.

Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled...

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me." John 14:1

This is a concept that is easier said than done (for me, that is). I am a self-proclaimed "worrier". Yes, I believe in an Almighty Father who is in charge of my life and the things/people in it; and, yes, I know that I should be "anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6), but I can't stop these moments that jump up to remind me that I am truly not in control.
I can't help but get the lump in my throat when I see my oldest son develop a splitting headache that causes him to throw up, and my mind automatically jumps to the most devastating thing I can muster up. I can not stop my mind from wandering to a wretched place when I can't get a hold of my husband (who drives a commercial truck for a living) on his cell phone after a few tries. My heart skips a beat when the thermometer registers past 101.0 degrees, or I am awakened by a little voice in the night that tells me that something isn't right.
One would think that if we have true faith in God that all cares are easily cast upon him. Our burdens lifted and resting on the shoulders of our living God. No, mine don't. That is my struggle; that, bluntly, is my sin. The lack of control drives me to the feet of Jesus begging for permission that he'd spare my family from such turmoil.
Well, folks, the truth is that it doesn't always work that way. God wasn't put here for me to use like a magic genie that would grant every wish at my command or amen, but I am here for his use. My family is here to be used in any way that he sees fit. That concept makes me nervous. I have seen other Christians suffer in ways that they didn't "deserve" because they were "good" people, and I have seen others deny our Lord and live a pretty cushy life.
Where is the balance? Where is the justice? The justice, my friends, is not on this earth. It is in heaven with the King. No crowns of glory on this earth will make it there; they will pass away. But, those trials and faith filled moments that God hands us as our challenge and voice to those around us will last. Those moments will be our treasure in heaven.
All of this, I know. Yet, it doesn't stop my heart from dwelling on the "what ifs" in life. The blessings I hold so dear on this earth are not mine, but they are his. My worry is a work in progress, but I don't see the end of it...yet. Prayerfully, one day something will click, and I'll be onto the next part of my character that I need to work on.

Days go by...

Days go by and I wonder if I'm savoring the moments in it. Sometimes, I lay in bed at night and remember how precious my blessings are, and I am totally guilty of getting my kids out of the bed only to cuddle them in ours. I need them to know how much they mean to me. It fills my heart and warms it from within when I can hold them tightly and tell them how much I love them.
The other night, as Stephen and I were getting ready for bed, we decided to grab up our little ones & have one of those "Midnight Movie Madness" nights. We cuddled, watched Wall-e, and enjoyed every moment of having the kids between us. I could see the ease and content spirit in my husband's eyes as his arm ran behind the pillows and their little heads. The kids also loved being in our big bed together to cuddle up as a family.
Life should be full of these moments. Why do we let time slip away, instead? Yes, we have to get up and navigate a day full of schedules that bring their own challenges, but don't allow that to make you lose focus of what is right in front of you...life and all it has to offer. Thank you, Lord.